Mental Illness : Plastic Surgery : THE PILOT

I know I have spoken about plastic surgery in a blog post before this but I wanted to showcase just how much individuals go to become perfect.

The photograph which I have taken is a close up of what exactly my house mate would change about herself, the image before you can see what she would change but not without knowing exactly where the arrow is pointing to and the minor things she wants to change about, due  to individuals saying horrible things to her.

I personal think that individuals should never be told what to change about themselves it lowers there self confidence and it results them into wanting to have plastic surgery to make themselves look better or even worse harming themselves because they are so angry at the fact that they are not a certain way, what other people want them to look like but what the most iconic thing they want to look like is individuals  in the media such as pop stars, presenters and models and if people keep thinking that's what individuals should look like then its going to result in people wanting to change themselves like what my photographs are saying.

Mental Ilness : Self Harming : THE PILOT

This photograph is someone harming themselves. At the beginning with some of my images and wanted to be sensitive to individuals who had suffered from self harming, but I thought giving them justice isn't 'faking' self harming which I feel I was doing in the images before.

This image shows the girl taking the razor blade to her wrists and harming herself and even though its not real blood ( only fake ) its still giving you this realistic photograph of what it would look like when individuals do this to themselves. What made me look more into this is Larry Clark even though in his photographs you don't see blood his photos are still gritty and sinister and realistic to self harming and looking at my image I feel that the photograph is realistic of what happens when someone harms themselves and the blood flows out just like in my photograph.

I do feel that I need to make the photograph more realistic may be not have the razor blade in it as may be leaving it  out causing more questions of how they have done it what kind of instrument they have used to have this effect on themselves.

Mental Illness - Self Harming - Reasons why? THE PILOT

This is the image which is inspiration from C- Paige. What I have changed about it is the fact of keeping her face out of the image and just focusing on the words which have been written over her body as that's what she feels and what people have said to her during the past to make her self harm her self.

The photograph is in black and white, which I feel looks great as you able to see the words so clear against her skin so your able to read every single one, which I feel would touch the audience to know what has been said about her. Throughout this process I asked her what she felt and the emotions such as lonely and unloved are emotions she felt as an individual going through this process but words such as too fat, ugly are the comments which other peers have made to her which has then brought the emotions out of her feeling lonely and unloved.

I liked the fact she didn't hold back when I asked about the emotions and asking her how she felt, I feel it was good for her to let someone know and someone to understand just how much she was going through.

Lecture : rough guide to digital dirt

Within this lecture it was all about thinking about the quality in images which are in the media. Its not talking about quality of our project but the quality of our technical work within the project.

In the lecture we learnt about Pixels within an image the more pixels you have the higher resolution it is going to be, once you lose quality you can not get that back, you have to learn how to manage the pixels which you have and make sure you don't do anything which will mess with your pixels. Photoshop was another thing we learnt about and how not to down scale your image unless you are sure and happy with the image which you have captured. We then looked at compression quality remember to shoot in RAW, you need to be in control.

Hito Steyerl quoted on the defence of the poor image ' Poor image are the contemporary wretched of the screen the debris of audio visual production, the trash that washes up on the digital economies shores they testify to the violent dislocation, transferrals, and displacement of images their acceleration and circulation within the vicious cycles of audio visual capitalism' and this is what we do with images, we move them around.  Sounds are also compressed.

Sometimes pixels do work in your favour for example Michael J Totten who took a picture of a solider in Iraq,  he captured the moment of what is happening and the picture is showing this due to the pixels which are causing this fast movement of the action, it brings this image alive and causes people to realise the actually action of what this soldier's go through.

Clio Barnard was another person which was on the lecture, and he used a single shot he used a mobile phone and filmed a therapy session, he used the therapy session and created a video with the voice over of the person in therapy, it was recreating a memory. Vannevar Bush As we may think quoted ' compression is important, however when it comes to costs. The material for the microfilm Britannia would cost a nickel, and it could be mailed anywhere for a cent, what would it cost.

We then looked at Manu 'Faceless' and her using CCTV footage, she acted out scenes from her movies, she used lawyers to get back the images but had to have faces of others covered but not hers, this becomes a narrative based gives great effect.

Poor images circulate not only because of the compression algorithms that crunch their file size but also because of the network structures that distribute them.

How to avoid digital dirt still images
1. pixel dimensions versus resolution
2. pixels for screen
3. view at 100% in Photoshop or actual size
4. resolution for print
Dots/pixels per inch
The number of pixels
width 4000
height 3000

300 pixel at the end

must save things at high resolution (remember)

Pixels in an image of A4 print = 11.5x300= resolution you need
it = 3450 pixels

Lecture : Useful Strategies of Copying and Stealing

When I first saw this lecture I thought it was very bizarre especially with a title such as 'Useful Strategies of Copying and Stealing' but once I saw the lecture I understood.  Copying and Stealing but also getting ideas to help you along the way are all very different things. When a photographer does a piece of work you should never just Copy it or if your in the business Steal it away, it take away your imagination which you have as an individual, creating something which you have thought through yourself is extra achieving because its all your work..

I was shocked to think that the Olympic Cauldron Flame was a copy and it originally came from a New York Design Studio and they were furious with it, which is understandable as somebody has taken their idea and made it into this big world wide spectacular without concerning the individuals you had the idea in the first place.

Going on through the lecture you are able to see that not everyone copies or steals but purely adapts a photographers idea and puts there own stamp on it to make it more individual and personal to that person. For example when many people look at the "Odessa Steps" in Battleship Potemkin they take pieces of them and create their own image with Battleship Potemkin as their starting point

The rapid progression and alternation of images gives a sensational event even greater visceral impact - rhythmic montage – extended time.

For example Martha Rosler took an image called 'Bringing the War home' which has a bit of Battleship Potemkin in but then has her own idea added in to make it more personal. This is called borrowed appropriation which is ' Media producers take objects, images or practices from popular (or foreign) cultures and restage them within the context of their work to either enrich or erode conventional definitions.'

With my project I don't want to copy or steal anyone's work I would adapt their work into mine if I love it and add my own spin on the image to make it represent me and not the photographer who I got the idea from, as they are very talented and I would never take that away from them.

Lecture : rough guide to time

This lecture was on moving images in the shape of time, image, sequence. Every photograph has these elements to it in some shape or form. What was said in the lecture was that moving images don't really move and still images aren't really motionless, which is a great way to look at images it all depends on how you interpret the image as an individual.

Throughout the lecture there was photographers who were mentioned who take photographs of these elements. When it comes to images which don't move I am interested in this because you look at an image with someone running for example Henri Cartier Bresson photograph of a man running across a puddle and catching his reflection, this is a 'moving image' but the subject isn't moving they have captured a particular movement to take and worked with it and I feel I could create that within my images in my project, adapt this time essence into it as it looks beautiful and elegant.

While researching time within photography a lot of useful things came up, about photographers who take photographs of family members through time, photographers such as Steve Pyke and Mary McCartney, they all take images of this time element and create beautiful images with it.  

Lecture : rough guide to reality

This lecture was a guide to reality and the aspect behind reality. The reality aspect of this lecture was looking beyond documentary photography but looking at critical practice as the creative exploration of the world and its mediations.

The lecture went onto montage as realism and looking at photographers who create this but majority didn't and one photographer which really stood out was Berthold Brecht his photograph of Krupp factory was very complicated as the photo does not represent reality in the slightest and it doesn't mirror the reflection of realism which was very odd as you would think that a photograph would create this realism and real to life but there are so many things you can do to a photograph to create a different meaning which is interesting while looking through the module.

Further on the lecture a section came up about surrealist documentary and ethnographic surrealism. Surrealist documentary is 'In aspiring to open the imagination upon reality, Surrealism blurs the distinction between fact and fiction. 'In Surrealist documentaries the realistic effect is used to hook the viewer into the world represented by the film in order to disrupt taken-for-granted assumptions about that world.' ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Surrealist%20Documentary ) This can be portrayed within a photograph just as much as a documentary and there were many photographers who were capturing this open imagination upon reality, one person while in the lecture who captured my eye was the work of Man Ray and his approach on surrealist photography. A quote by Man Ray when he was doing his photography "Of course, there will always be those who look only at technique, who ask 'how', while others of a more curious nature will ask 'why'. Personally, I have always preferred inspiration to information." (http://www.arthistoryarchive.com/arthistory/surrealism/Man-Ray.html) Man Ray had a lot of inspiration when it came to his work but the  inspirations through-out his life, one of the most notable being Marquis de Sade – a man imprisoned for writing about sexual exploits involving women. Man Ray was inspired by his obsession with women and also began to explore female eroticism, evident in many of his photographs. Man Ray tried to create a Surrealist vision of the female form, and utilized solarisation, cropping, over development (various photographic techniques) to create a surreal effect in his photographs, and this is where his idea started of creating these amazing surreal photographs

Looking at this lecture made me really get a view and an understanding of the way photographers work and that so many of them have different ways of portraying certain things and I find it really interesting to be researching more in to photographer which fits in well with the project which I am doing.

Lecture

I felt the lecture of term was a great lecture to get us to understand what the module was all about. Throughout the lecture it touched about photomontage was brilliant for me as I was doing the photography part of  the module, even though at this point I was still very unsure what I was actually going to do for my project I still found the photomontage really interested.

While going through the lecture and on the subject of photomontage we were given photographers who particular do photomontage work, the likes of Hannah Hoch and John  Heartfield looking at there work and getting an understanding of what my work could look like.

Further on in the lecture it wasn't just looking at photomontage but it was also looking at different types of photograph which we could do. There was the likes of Punk, DIY culture and politics followed by photographers who have captured some of these things for example Peter Kennard he has taking photographs which represent Punk, DIY culture and politics I found it brilliant because it really tested his photography skills but also his Photoshop skills.

Going on through out the lecture there was many more examples which were really creating ideas for me but it was also showing that I was able to create something great with my photography and do something which I found really interesting and push it to the boundaries.  

Mental Illness - Anorexia - THE PILOT

Not only was I looking at plastic surgery as a reason to Self Harm but also the illness which is Anorexia. A lot of individuals male and female suffer from this disorder and are so upset with themselves it leads to Self Harming as they are worried to talk to someone and gain help with it.

While researching into this subject of  Self  Harming I learnt that my other house mate suffered from anorexia when she was a teenager and it was due to her being called fat by a boyfriend which she had at the time, she didn't Self Harm herself but she was very ill from this illness and was depressed in may ways because of the lack of confidence which she had due to getting the disorder. She has told me that she does struggle in everyday but what keeps her going is the support of her family and her friends but she wanted to tell me about what she went through as she thought it would  help with my project and create a new idea of why people may Self Harm.

This image is of her and it speaks for itself.

Mental Illness - Self Harming - Plastic Surgery - THE PILOT

While looking into plastic surgery I found that not only was it her body which she wanted to change but it was also her face which she was highly strung on.

This image just like her body is what she would want done to her face if she could, she would feel better in herself if this was the case. She did say that because she felt so low about herself before hand she still feels that sometimes and she will criticise her appearance in every shape or form, and she said this is what someone who has Self Harmed does on a daily basis but keeps it to themselves as they are used to doing that at the start of harming themselves and not being able to mention or talk about it they keep it to themselves.

Mental Illness - Self Harming - Plastic Surgery - THE PILOT

Throughout this blog I haven't looked at Self Harming and individuals Self Harming but I haven't looked at what makes individuals do this to themselves.

I realised that individuals who Self Harm is mostly due to the appearance which they see in the mirror, which has made me think about plastic surgery. Individuals harm themselves because others bully them because the way they look so I thought if I looked at plastic surgery I would gain an understanding of a reason behind why these people Self Harm themselves.

The photograph which I have taken is of my house mate and I have drawn on her the parts she would love to change about herself, as she Self Harmed about her looks I thought this was a really good thing to create with her instead of her just Self Harming, showing why individuals Self Harm is putting it more into perspective and creating a meaning behind it.

PROPOSAL

When it comes to my final project, I want to produce photographs of Mental illness when it comes to Self-Harming. I want to show my audience who are viewing the images that Self Harming can stem from anything be it due to depression, losing a loved one or bullying, I am currently looking at plastic surgery and what that does to individuals self-confidence and how that effects someone in so many different ways.

The reason behind why I have decided to focus on Self Harming is due to one of my house mates who suffered from this a couple of years ago, she had a really bad time with it and I feel that Self Harming is a very raw and upsetting topic to look at and being able to have someone so close to me who has suffered from it makes it a little bit easier for me to continue this project as I can approach it with ease but also I know she will be open with me to talk about it and I'd feel more confident with asking her things about her Self Harming, than asking just a random person who has suffered I would feel it would be a little insensitive.

The aims of my project are to show people that Self Harming is a real life issue and it needs to be talked and spoken out about and people shouldn't be scared to talk about it, but not only this but I want to showcase that it's not just the typical emotions such as being heartbroken but it has more serious issues involved such as plastic surgery and depression which is what I'll be showcasing within my project.

PRODUCTION SCHEDULE

My production schedule that plans my project work week by week up to the submission deadline is really great for me. What is included with this week by week guide is me researching into more and different photographers, gaining stories from individuals who have suffered even if that's via a blog or website or even social network, I want to be able to gain more understanding of the topic and by looking at stories and photographers my development of this particular subject will become greater.

Also being included in my week by week production schedule is taking more images of Self Harming and keep creating new ideas which I am going to be putting forward. I want to be able to set up an interview with my house mate who suffered from Self Harming, but I may document her everyday life in an interview seeing if she is okay and asking her if its still a struggle for her, but I am going to ask her before hand if she feels comfortable if she isn't then I will stick to just the interview but I may spread the interview over a couple of days to get a real understanding of what she was going through.

Once I have taken my photographs I will then be uploading them on to Flickr to be able to see them blown up and see if I need to change anything about the images and if so then I can go back and re take them and get them to a better standard. As I said at the beginning I want to develop my understanding of this particular topic but not only through stories and photographers but also look at individuals who are not professional photographers but have a passion for it because I feel this would help me gain confidence in my photography and push me to develop amazing photographs as these individuals.

PRODUCTION PLANNING

My production plan is pretty straight forward. The source of my particular images will come from a friend of mine who is reliable and is willing to go through this process with me for as long as I need her to be. The only software I will be needing is word and Microsoft office so I'm able to change my images to black and white, and be able to create these elegant images which are portraying such a awful thing. Also within my production planning I will be still focusing on gaining more understanding of the topic and looking in depth at Self Harming and the effects it has on people not just the individual who is suffering but their family members and also their friends.

I will be arranging an interview with my friend to talk step by step her encounter and the effects self harming had on her every day life, including the effects it had on her family and her friends, but also looking at how she came back from it and what is keeping her head up and not wanting to go back to that place, I will ask her also what makes her stop going back, is it her friends and family, is it her career etc. I want to gain this understanding of someone so close to me who suffered from it.

RESEARCH

Most of the research I have conducted is in my blog. First bit of research I did was just about everyday life in quotes I wanted to get a feel of everyday life. I then started to research everyday life struggles such as love, relationship, friendship, depression, mental illness, alcohol and drug abuse, death, loneliness etc. and how I wanted to in- corporate some of these certain struggles within my photograph work. I then looked into equality and to do same sex relationship as that is a very modern thing within the media but I thought that would prove difficult as I don't know any same sex couple, so what led me on to researching more in depth about mental illness and the struggle that has on an individual everyday was the fact that my house mate suffered from mental illness and in fact self harmed herself, I thought it would make things a little easier for me as she would be willing to open up to me instead of just a random stranger as I'd be more closed off and wouldn't express the true feelings and emotions into the interview.

After I decided on my idea for the project I would research into photographers and get a greater understanding of self harming and the effects it has on people. These photographers include C - Paige, Larry Clark, Christian Hopkins, individuals on blogs who have experienced the illness, not only have I looked at photographers who portray mental illness but I've looked at artists and they are amazing. Clare Lieu is one of the reasons behind me researching this, the artist can capture raw emotion and can use their imagination to capture and get a grasp of the emotion, these art works look very much like a photograph. Another one is George Harding he has also suffered from mental health problems like Christian Hopkins, what I liked was that he turned Mental illness into a positive thing instead of an negative problem by talking and including people. Robert Lenkiewicz is another artist who has died but what made me so drawn to him was he painted a picture of 'mental handicap' and stated that these are people, they are part of society, they are ourselves and this goes for everyone who suffers from mental illness.

After looking and researching and I thought pop stars harm themselves so with the help of my lecturer I did just that. Richey Edwards from Manic Street Preaches he harmed himself before he disappeared. I wanted my research not to just look at photographers and artists but also people in society, its someone who is in the spot light and its saying that the pressure get to everyone at some point no matter who you are.

Research which I will need to complete the project is keep researching photographers and artists to gain more understanding and knowledge of self harming but also get an interview set up with my friend who went through self harming and let her express the emotions she was feeling, how she dealt with it and how did she got out of it but also why did she start self harming in the first place.


 

SIMILIAR WORK

There has been a lot of examples I have touched upon when it comes to mental illness and what I focused on is self-harming, I feel this is a raw and tough subject to approach and to speak out about, but a lot of photographs have captured self harming in their work. The work of other photographers which I have looked at relates to mine due to the gritty and dark side these images have but also the connection between them, I am not looking into doing exactly what the photographer does but looking at them as an example is making me broader my horizon and is giving me more and more ideas every time.

While looking through my blog you will find many images featured on my blog which I can relate back to but my key example are mental illness self harming work in progress even though this image has been changed a lot I'm keeping it too focus on, I feel that a lot of the time individuals harm themselves in a bathroom and somewhere out of the way, this made me look at Larry Clark and his photography which is dark and gloomy and doesn't glamourise self harming, his photography inspired me because he is showing people the amount of suffer and struggle they go through each and everyday of their lives and that is what I want to portray in my images. Another one which is a key example is mental illness C - Paige he has taken a photograph of an individual and has written comments which individuals have said to her all over her body. I have taken an image myself in relation to C - Paige's image but what I would like to change and what has inspired to do something similar but instead of showing the individual just show her back as it adds to mystery, I also feel it would bring more meaning behind the image which I have taken.

Not only have I done this but I have now thought of bringing ideas into my project and thinking more about why these individuals do it, is it through such things as plastic surgery or being called names, I have taken a few images which are on my blog as I feel researching more in depth with reasons behind self harming will really open up my mind.

 
 

THEORETICAL CONTEXT

While deciding on what aspect of my project I wanted to do I had to think about the type of questions which I would ask concerning mental illness. I want to question on why do individuals do it, is it due to them being depressed, bullying, being different or something which is more in depth that the individual is suffering with, I want to be able to grasp the idea of what a mentally ill person is going through. Through this project there are many ideas which are going to explored, ideas which I'm going to be exploring are photographers and the ideas which they come up with and the way that they portray mental illness and the way it effects people and see if a picture can speak a thousand words.

I feel exploring photographers who have had years of experience is a great way to start this process of my project, but not only professional photographers but individuals such as Christian Hopkins he has never taken a photography class before in his life and yet produced some amazing and beautiful images. What makes me so interested in Hopkins images are in fact that he battled with major depression for the past four years and much of this work are a reflection of the dark thoughts and feelings which were swirling around his mind.

PILOT

My Pilot is a clear view on what my final project will be touched upon. My aim with this project is to look at Mental Illness and what issues are surrounding Mental Illness and what individuals who are suffering from a form of Mental Illness are going through on a daily basis.

My intention and also aim with this project is looking at Mental Illness but I'm going to focusing on particular Mental Illness which is Self-Harming I feel this will make me create a deeper and greater understanding of what Mental Illness is, just by focusing on one part of the illness. My photography and the aim which I have behind it is that they will demonstrate technical adaptions which I have done through camera angles and shots looking at my victim to create this vulnerable and lonely image because that's what many individuals feel when they are Self-Harming. Not only will this be the case but I will create this black and white effect which is due to give my images this dark and sinister cloud over Mental Illness and the way it makes people feel.

The reason why I feel that black and white will be good is because of the connotation which black and white give off. Black is evil and dark whereas white is seen as purity and innocence there is this contrast between the two, which is want I want to get from my image, but creating this black and white image has also made me think to create some positive aspects within the photograph so its showing audiences and people who suffer from Mental Illness that there is hope and that's where the white connotation will come in.

My Influences while looking at Mental Illness are Larry Clark, Nan Golding and a lot of other brilliant photographers. These photographers have had a huge influence with me when it comes to my images and the aim of what my project is on. These photographers images really touch upon Mental Illness but all in very different ways: Larry Clarks images focus on Self Harming and his photographs are really powerful and they touch you, his images are also in black and white which I find makes the photograph more meaningful, but also brings this dark and evilness to the photo which is what Self Harming is about. Nan Golding photography is very different she wouldn't just look at one aspect of life it would be all different aspects which individuals would be struggling in everyday life. This is good for me because its giving me more ideas on what I could focus on when it comes to struggles of lives.

Mental Illness - Self Harming - Richey Edwards - IDEAS

Not only is it 'normal' individuals who self harm themselves but there are also celebrities and famous individuals who self harm themselves as well, and one person is Richey Edwards from Manic Street Preaches he disappeared but  before he did he cut himself and in away abused every aspect of his life.

Individuals look up to these stars and think that if they do that then its fine for me to do it and in away they don't think about the trauma and the hurt that these stars are actually going through. It was the same for when Justin Bieber did the drug Weed and all his fans started harming themselves because they were so upset that he has done this to himself, they are very much into the pop star or famous person that they react to everything that happens in that particular persons life.

Back to Richey Edwards, he carved '4 real' into his arm and there was a lot of discussion whether or not to show this image to the public because of the amount of harm and pain that it would cause other individuals especially his fan base which he received over the years.


  

Mental Illness - Self Harming - IDEAS : THE PILOT

Talking with my lecturer she mentioned may be just me searching online about individuals who are self harming themselves.  I found it quite alarming how many images came out, even though I know self harming is known about it was still a shock to the system.

One photography which is what I was thinking of doing is the one with cuts on the skin but in the form of words, I really thought this would be a brilliant way to portray self harming, but the one thing I wanted to change was not have cuts on the wrists or another part of the body with depressing words but positive words because individuals can get through self harming if they have the correct help, and I want my photography to have a positive outcome that comes with it. I am still going to keep to black and white because it gives this contrast of the two colours for the meaning that the photography has, but I would change the lighting a little bit, even though in this photograph the lighting is very dark and sad but as I mentioned earlier I want my photograph to have this positive element to it, so if the lighting was a little bit lighter that would showcase the positive element off to individuals viewing the photograph.